writing – sarah fynn

The Intern Diaries: Day 1

Dear diary

Today was the first day of my highly anticipated internship! The dull weather and train delays could not stop my excitement as I got ready for work. Who coined the phrase smart causal? I mean why would I want to be causal about my smartness? Is it that my makeup is casual but outfit is smart or vice versa? (If you know me, you know I hate the term smart causal!)

Anyway, I learnt a lot today. Like good ideas don’t quite cut it- it has to fit the brand’s image/house style. I mean coming from a blogging background, where I have total freedom/control on what/how/when I post to the complete opposite was a bit of a shock ( maybe I am quite naïve?) how to get specific answers for your interview questions, how many times did I re draft that list? Yes 3 times (maybe that online journalism course will come in handy?) etc. No free advertising, not even by mistake (Wait what?)

I got some products for a test run. Looking forward to using them! A review will be on my blog after it has been posted on the mag’s website/blog.

But day 1 was good. Looking forward to day 2. Now I know what my day will be like more or less.

Love Sarah

P.S- you guys need to help with my outfits and I need to buy that book on creative writing/thinking. What is an SEO? Either way, blogging has been my 10,000 hours so to say

Hey guys, so I have an internship at a top UK magazine for the next 2 weeks and I will be documenting the journey in my intern diaries! I won’t reveal where/who I am working for (maybe I will at the end? Or if you can guess lol, a giveaway?). Just know it’s an editorial assistant internship and I am not making tea/coffee lol.

I hope this inspires someone who is thinking of a similar internship to get out there and apply. It can be quite daunting and there is always that ‘Will I just be making drinks and doing the photocopying’ cliché. But internships are great especially if you are thinking of a career change- which I am currently thinking of and want to test drive to see if it’s actually the right path for you plus you’re getting some experience and making contacts. And if you’re amazing enough and they can afford it- your dream job!

POINTS OF VIEW- CHRISTAINITY

Points of view

Hey guys I hope everyone is doing well at the moment, happy Easter in advance.

So I wanted to share something a bit personal to me and that is my Christianity. So I have been a Christian all my life and like always there is be hard times. And I find myself going through that recently so I thought it would be encouraging to hear from close friends and family what Christianity meant to them and their views on it etc. So I did a mini survey and the answers I got back were quite interesting. These are the questions I asked

What does been Christian or Christianity mean to you? And before you were a Christian or since you have been Christian, have you ever doubted the existence of God or your whole beliefs?

It was interesting to hear what others had to say and I found it so encouraging. So if you are going through a similar situation maybe you would find this encouraging.

Yeah. I have. Not “openly” per se. But when I studied religion and philosophy a-level I found it really hard to fit my beliefs in God to what was being taught.
But too much has happened to me. And if not for the fact that in my head I believed that there is a supreme being taking care of me, I wouldn’t be here today. No lie.
That in itself is evidence to me. I’m one of those ‘logical’ thinking people. Things are always mapped out in my head. And I try as much as possible to stick to it. That’s why when things don’t go to plan I basically go mad. i.e.: a-level results/Uni time. When I feel like things aren’t going to plan I struggle and obviously it’s coz I find it hard to give it all up to God. But 2013/2014 has taught me so much. Right now I’m at a stage where I’m beginning to understand that God matters more than anything in my life. Career, future, money, family… All of that don’t mean much. Coz this world has gone cold. So I now feel like Christ is the best decision for me. Hasn’t been easy coz I think about certain things and think so God u actually for real??! Like I said I’ve never said or spoke about this. It’s been very private thoughts. I don’t know if that’s even a good thing tbh. What does being Christian mean to me now? Well, now, it’s my life. Literally. I can’t think of any other way to actually be able to live. It’s all through the ‘most high’. Taken me ages to get there. Last summer we spent a lot of time with Ps Wiseborn and it’s through that or from there that I gained some confidence about all this and from there I actually feel loved by God. He loves me. – Amazing tbh. It’s taken me a long while to fall in love with myself. There are things I don’t like bout myself. He sees all this and loves me completely?? To me it’s mind blowing. And that’s what I hold on to.

Being a Christian means following Christ, having my relationship with the Trinity. Never doubted God’s existence. My only doubts were that He didn’t love me as much as other people because of the pain I felt. That’s gone now

To me it’s all about finally being reconnected with God In a real and palpable way I owe God my existence and would one give account of the life he has given me I would otherwise be unable to come before God because for birth I’ve done things that would mean I can’t be in the presence of God without his holiness naturally destroying me But God in Christ made a way for me to be reconnected with him by paying for my sin on the cross Before properly being baptised by the Holy spirit at some point I did doubt at some. Points God’s existence but it was always for selfish reasons by His grace having been baptised by the Holy spirit I can’t see anything that would change my mind about what I’ve seen I now have constant relationship with God which is evidenced every day and which strengthened my faith in a daily basis

Christianity means is I have a relationship I have with the creator of this earth and that’s a privilege, because I love him so much so will love making him happy and by doing that he protects me and blesses me all the same. There are times as Christians we been though so many and doubt God’s ability but He always cones through and proves us wrong and shows us how great He is

Before I became born again, I was just growing and part of Sunday school so I’ve always known there’s a God, who created heaven and earth and since then I don’t remember ever doubting my beliefs as a Christian. Christianity is a way of life , it is like being a disciple, who wants to be like Jesus and have a good relationship with God by following His statutes and living according to the Bible
My opinion is what Christianity means to me is to have a relationship with God. There were times that things hadn’t gone my way and I was frustrated but I ask God for strength to get me through my battles

Being a Christian to me is a Lifestyle. Living your life based on the teaching of Christ. But u can’t really be living by his teaching if u don’t believe in him or what his purpose was fir mankind No I have never doubted his existence

Christianity = being able to live the life Christ lived when he was on earth through grace and mercy

To a Christian is an individual who has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal saviour. By doing that as well they have formed a covenant with God that they now belong to Him. Through that they are granted salvation. Also being a Christian is not just by mouth, a true Christian follows and lives a right way of life according to the word of God and strives their best to obey God’s word in all aspects of their life. Before I became a Christian I didn’t doubt the existence of God however I wanted to experience His power and because I didn’t known how to I went a bit wayward lool but God found me and brought me to the light lol

Being a Christian or Christianity to me is actually a way of life where after having accepted the Lord as my personal saviour I strive to be like Jesus Christ in my daily walk with him and try to have a personal relationship with him. So I try my best with the help of the Holy Spirit so others might see Jesus in me. There has not been a day I doubted the existence of God or my beliefs because for me everything around me and things that happens around tells me He exists. Not withstanding there has been some challenging times my faith has been challenge like losing hope. but I thank God I get on my feet as soon as I can

There might be another part in this post because there are so many more people I asked and I am still waiting for a reply. If you have been in this situation before or you are currently in a similar one, do not lose hope, soon you will be back in His presence. If you would like to share your story with me, you can leave a comment on this post or drop me an email.

I hope you were encouraged. Have a good day.

FLY ON THE WALL

totally unrelated but funny picture for enlightenment as always!

Nothingness the hollow six inches between my ears

She becomes the hypocrite she knows herself to be

It’s not enough

And in this instance

Knowledge did not bring power

Either did experience come with wisdom

Let me crash and burn

For my engine although worn out won’t stop until a crash

The last stop before the cliff edge

Is when I thought I stopped for water

I am her

Her locked in this glass box

So I think I am making progress

But I am locked into place

Sorrow sobs turn into screams that must be swallowed. Tears like rivers that run down my face.

“Buzz buzz”

Back straight. Eye open. Pupils dilate to let in that glimmer of lights in the room. You’re alerted to another being’s presence. – It’s just a fly.

“Oh God, I can’t do this’ if I have to fake another smile and hide bags enough that I could crawl into underneath my eyes I would not know what to do. But as I work my mac nc45 into my skin, I am doing the exact opposite of what I planned for a Friday night.

I wish it was as easy as breathing. Wrong for breathing in itself it’s a task that requires energy and involves a bunch of chemical reactions of which I could name but do not have the time. So no it can’t be easy as that.

False hope. Blue Skies grey clouds in a drought does not guarantee rain

And so my heart broke when I took my umbrella

That buzz of the fly that I keep hearing

It’s a cycle. Like my old bike I had when I was 9 years old. The worn rubber tires removed so that the metal frame was left. And every time I rode, I could see traces of where I had been but not where I was going. Not yet. But in that moment been the present and at the same time the future of the past but not been able to predict the next future, unless I keep riding. And the tracks that would ensue. And psychology will tell me hindsight bias means I knew it would happen all along.

But if the past is the only indication I have of my future, and if habits are so hard to break then what hope do I have left?

Let me end on this note; the cross is for my salvation.

Lamentations 3; 21-27

OPPOSITES

If birds of the same feather flock together then why do opposites attract?

If I seek to get then why did curiosity kill the cat?

If absence makes the heart grow fonder why am I out of your mind when I am out of sight?

And if the grass is greener on the other side, and home is where the heart is then why I am not happy with my home been on the opposite side?

Stillness

And as the arms wrap around her, her thoughts come alive

And he has no idea the very words he speaks illicts an opposite response in her mind.

‘for the rest of my life I want to be with you’

I cant be with him

I want to give you everything

There are some luxuries I cant afford

I want to make you happy

Like been happy

I will fight for you

I am so tired

We will be together forever

You will become a memory like everything

I love you

Another luxury too pricey for me

I want a future with you

And another

Two world will not co-exist. One will triumph.

How do opposites stay together?

Why did curiosity kill the cat?

Why did I leave your mind when I left your sight?

I think I love the idea of loving you without actually pausing for a second to think what love is? I think I love the idea of you fighting for me and yes as a woman I would expect that from a man but I also love the idea of fighting against you for me.

I am not ready like Alicia Keys.

But if thinking about you means anything

Then you mean the world to me

And if looking at you means something

Then boy, my eyes will not get its fill of you, my brain will not be satisfied with the images of you

Because they are not enough

Either will my hands get used to the habit of touching your body

Its been a while, wordmixing.

Thailand 2013- Part 2 Travel

As promised, this is part 2 of my Thai adventure

Pattong ( south Thailand)

I went to quite a few places in Thailand. And quite frankly I would recommend all these places! I spent my first weekend in Pattong, south Thailand. If you ever visit the place, and you should really, be sure to check out bamboo bar- their live band is sooo good and they’re a bit obsessed with Bob Marley. (Lol). Get your haggling skills ready because you will need it! During the day, the infamous Bangla Street transforms into a shopping destination for tourists! Really cheap and sometimes good designer knock offs starting as low as you want! ( this is where your bargaining skills comes into play, do not think you have to accept the first price they say, infact they’re also ready for you, I noticed every seller has their calculator handy for bargaining!)

After shopping or when you’re just hot and bothered, cool down by heading to Pattong beach which is just at the end of Bangla road! Or go with a nice hour of Thai massage (although it’s quite painful if it’s your first time). Do take advantage of the massive food court on the road as well and please buy a ROTI! (Thai sweet pancakes). They also have an ice cream stall next to the entrance of the mall (I forgot its name) but they serve really nice ice creams and it should come upside down otherwise its free! I recommend staying at the hacienda (or sort of the sort with its spelling) hotel, it’s quite close to Bangla road and quite cheap

Bangkok

Seriously, Bangkok is insane! I stayed near khaosan road, one of the famous roads in Bangkok for tourists. Be prepared to be asked the same question over and over again! And sellers doing everything to entice you! (Best thing- put on sunglasses and no eye contact lol, especially if you’re alone LOL). I met a fellow lone traveller on Sunday and we spent the day river cruising and visit temples. We also planned a week of travels. More on Bangkok later as I spent my last week there.

Chiangmai (North Thailand)

So after two days in Bangkok, I travelled up north for jungle and elephant trekking. Jungle trekking is up to date the most physical and mental challenge I have done so far! 2 days and 1 night of jungle trekking, was amazing. The views especially when we got to the top were breath-taking, and totally worth it even though I spent time with my fears (bugs) lol. We showered outside with cold water, slept in wooden houses, squat toilets! It was a really good experience and would totally recommend it to adrenaline/adventure seekers like me. It’s a different way of life up there, but even without the Wi-Fi signals (trust me I tried lol) they’re still able to get on. After talking to our tour guide for a while he even said he prefers there than the city! On the second day, after trekking down, we went bamboo rafting and elephant trekking. Our elephant was pregnant! (So I felt a bit bad lool). They really need to get seatbelts on the elephant-ride-seat because anything we would go down a little hump/hill I thought I would slide out hahaha… anyway Chaingmai was crazy fun and a serious work out too! Make sure you check out the night bazar, which a big nice market selling all kinds of goodies!

Krabi (south Thailand), Railey Beach (island off Krabi).

Overnight train from Chiangmai back to Bangkok then overnight bus to Krabi! In a whole week I think I spent a total of 3 if not 2 days travelling alone! Anyway we finally got to Krabi in the morning, the girl I was with wanted to meet her friends from back home and since I had nothing else to do I went along. (I should say at this point my cash was starting to dwindle down). So ferry from Krabi to Railey and I stayed for one night. Railey beach most amazing beach I have seen!

Back to Bangkok.

So I left the next day, overnight bus of course back to Bangkok. This was my last week and it was just shopping and relaxing. I met a friend’s friend (lol) who is Thai, and she took me around to the shopping malls, sky trains and more temples. The last week I wanted to spend alone just to re-operate although I met loads of new people.

10 commandments of Thailand plus a few tips

2 pin adapters is a must!
Street food- I know but its cooked right in front of you at high temperatures but be careful about the meat if it’s been sitting too out too long. Honestly I rarely ate in restaurants and am fine no food poisoning what so ever1
Make sure you try ROTIs and phad Thai and their pineapples!
Bug spray! The stronger the better and do not leave your room without it in your bag, yes even during the day!
Sunscreen/sunglasses
Water- you will need it! keep hydrated in that humidity
Make sure you try 7/11 toasties they’re so good and cheap!
Check out the temples if they are any round where you are! (This am sure they will be!) be sure to wear appropriate clothing though
Bargaining skills!
Make sure you have a wonderful time like myself! You will meet loads on people from all walks of life, just be open and talk and in no time you will be making friendships that could last a life time!

Now on a more important note:

Please make sure you tell your bank, don’t be like me and have your card blocked lool with no cash at hand. Be wary of the cash machines, they charge 150 bath (£3) every time you take out money. If you do get your card blocked and you have no cash, don’t worry there are loads of western unions around and you can ask friends/family back home to send you some cash
I think it’s nice to learn basic introductory phrases in the language of the country you’re going to. It’s a good conversation opener with the locals
Keep your passport locked and take copies around if the need be.

Okay folks that’s all- my 2013 Thailand adventure! I met loads of people, made new friends and had the best time of my life. If you’re thinking of visiting Thailand and you’re not sure, go! The locals are nice, food is good and cheap and there are loads more to do! I am so grateful to have done this volunteering and travelling trip, and I know the memories will last a life time.

Until next time, s̄wạs̄dī (good day)

Xxxxxx

THIS PICTURE

This picture ignited something in me.

Attitude

She closes her eyes and pouts her lips

Sharply turning her head to face the other side whilst her fro’ gently sways with her, she thinks ‘ I don’t need a relaxer my hair aint stressed out!’ and if she could add more ‘ do you know what relaxers do to our hair? You think its fun pouring sodium hydroxide which has a pH of about 10-14 on your scalp? In the name of beauty?’ go ahead! But not me child!’ But would probably answer ‘ I wanted to go natural’ to all the ‘looks’ she might get; the disapproving ones, the bewilderment ones and the plain ignorant ones too.

And lets not start on the comments! ‘Nappy hair girl? Really?’

‘your hair’s a mess boo, you want me to fix it? ( by fixing I really mean let me burn your hair straight?’ and the classic line from hairdresser’s themselves (which I have actually heard because it was said to me ) ‘natural hair is not good, it breaks your hair, your hair is weaker, don’t do it! Yh( and I should listen to you because??)

So forgive her if she shows you a bit of attitude. Her hair’s gotta breathe and so does she!

TWISTED LIKE A TWIST OUT

The misconception people have about natural hair amazes me, especially when we live in a world that Google is so easily accessible (lol). Whilst some people think natural hair consist mainly of big ol’ afros( which by the way is not true), others call it nappy( as to why you would want to compare your hair to something a baby wears I would not know or understand!) then there’s old African aunties ( not all of them but some of them) that think if you aint relaxed your hair, your hair is just going to start falling out ( LOL).

LETS SMOOTH THIS OUT

I have not been natural all my life. And I certainly don’t try and sell being natural to anyone either do I go over assertively about being natural or looking down on anyone who does relax their hair. Being natural or relaxing your hair is a choice, it does not mean we cant be friends but it does mean we cant share hair products(LOL, we can).

GOOD HAIR? GOOD HAIR!

And no, I’m not talking about Chris Rock’s good hair( not his own hair but his documentary on good hair). Good hair in my opinion- healthy hair, hair that you feel comfortable with NOT them, NOT they, BUT YOU, relaxed, natural, weaved, braided, twisted , loc’s anything you fancy, GOOD HAIR is your hair, your CHOICE.

The next time you see a sister rocking her natural fro’ best believe its coz her hair aint stressed! Because if she was, boyy would you be in trouble for staring. LOL.

And oh PLEASE DON’T EVER EVER TRY TOUCH A GIRL’S HAIR. LOOK AND APPRECIATE FROM A DISTANCE, INFACT IN YOUR HEAD IMAGINE ALL THE SCENARIOS WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO RUN YOUR HANDS THROUGH IT BUT IN REAL LIFE? KEEP YA HANDS IN YO POCKETS!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Good night….

A fireproof journey of love

It’s a word I thought I knew. And I know you thought you knew it too. A definition so true and a mind so conscious of it yet a life lived to the contrary.

It’s like a bus journey. Am at the bus stop knowing where I want to get to. It’s clear what buses I must take because obviously I got my Google maps on my blackberry( the latest I should add) and the obvious fact that it says so on the bus timetable too. Standing here, rain, wind, a shelter shared with an old lady who keeps her Chanel handbag as close to her as possible, with the odd stares at me. Moving at my slightest hesitation. (I should have told her I wasn’t interested in stealing her Iphone4 or Prada purse or the two 50 pound notes in it, maybe I wanted the orbit chewing gum. Maybe. Yh I could see its contents clearly but how and why does this lady who I presume it about 65 years old have such things? The thought makes me smile. I taste a raindrop that falls on my teeth. Salty.) But if I did that, the sheer shock of it would scare her half to death and I really don’t want to go to jail at the moment. I got a life to live. Well am trying to live this life.

Life. and almost instantly I’m transported into that world. Memories. Running through and fro. Clouds seem to darken, rain hits harder and there I was in that world standing with my pink Primark umbrella which is doing a very bad job of keeping me dry.

And whilst am still here, a bus arrives and I can’t really see the number but I hop on. Anything to get me away from this place. Oyster card beeps. Green. Well let’s go then. Green. I know he sees the reflection of the colour in my dark eyes. Green.

Colours, they seem to matter too. Because my mind thinks it’s so clever linking colours to words to memories to places then people. So when I see the colour green, it stimulates a chain reaction in my mind and the end result is always him. You. And it’s always to that place because well that’s the colour associated with that place. Green.

Faint smile.

Windows. The rain hits hard against them. In a drop I see the relief of the woman! Her legs seem longer, she seems taller! Lawrd don’t tell me she was holding her breath!

Windows- a shield against this rain. It seems to me they want to purposely get on me. Fighting hard against these windows that are innocent. As a matter of fact, these things are the only ones that have put up a fight for me… wet. Jeans. Rain is getting on me. An open window.

move.

My journey! Yes.

I check my phone. It says am going the wrong way.

The honk of a car.

The bark of a dog

A Cry of a cold baby

Rain hits my eye (I know my mascara will run). Blurred vision.

Am standing at the bus stop with this old lady. She’s still here. But I thought I got on a bus?

“But how I can change lines just like that?

From northern line to London midlands?

No it’s not a journey you pre book tickets for

Only to be collected the train station and discarded after the journey has ended!”

But what bus am I waiting on? I check my blackberry (low battery. Typical!)

‘Enter destination’

At that moment I knew, I wasn’t getting home anytime soon. If I hadn’t entered the postcode whilst I was there the last time then I don’t have it and I can’t seem to remember.

(This either means I have to find my own way or get a better phone with a longer battery life. I agree with the latter.) If only I could make one call

“To show like a missed call

But maybe when my minutes come

I may give you a buzz

Send a text

To let you know I was busy (and lost)

So busy that even my voicemail couldn’t answer

The last time you called?

It didn’t even ring twice and I answered

But now I check my phone log

Did you call?

Or did I call you

When I had no minutes?

Maybe that’s why I got a busy tone

And my phone charges went up”

I look up to this this woman staring at me. I know she can tell am pissed and she knows I can tell she’s even more afraid. But would she risk getting out her IPhone and calling the police? No. she wouldn’t.

I try to look out ahead trying to find my way through the rain. Trying to recognise the place I’m at, at the moment. Maybe my clever brain would recognise I have been here before and try and remember how to get me home.

15 mins later

It’s no good.

The word we both thought we knew? Meant a lot but we treated it as nothing. Playing with fire and hoping not to get burnt but fully knowing the scars it capable of leaving. Why? Because we both have been near this fire and been scotched by its heat alone however we seem to think we are ‘fireproof’ even though our suits seem to melt each time we get closer to it.

This time, fire wasn’t playing with us.

Heat.

But I was so sure. I knew. I was convinced because my knowledge of it stood the tests of time meant I passed the test too. But the signs were clearly shown. And I knowedgebly chose to ignore the signs.

*sighs*

I must keep going. It needed to be put out. Somehow. And my tears weren’t enough, either was the past and the pain seemed to increase the intensity of the fire. Those fire extinguishers did not work. Either did the fire blanket too. This type of fire? Needed something new. The heat was draining, causing the waters of my soul to evaporate. I almost died of thirst! (Frowns)

But you look so happy.

“So maybe this was a PS3

And you can changed games because you were losing at it

Switched controllers and reset setting s

To suit whatever mood you were in!”

But it’s a bus journey. With a never ending final destination but bus stops seem to be a place of shelter till the same bus with the same driver comes along. Each time. Without fail.

It’s a never ending final destination because well it never ends.

And by now you should have guessed what I have been trying to illustrate.

“No, in matters like this

The heart is none of that

To be played upon, on anyhow

When it gave its all

Nothing was done

So when another requests everything

Then one begins to wonder

Back to the response that was first given

Retreat!

So whether it’s true or not

This time I won’t answer love’s call”

I think you need to read this poem to make your thinking complete. http://wp.me/p1uQOd-58

everday inspiration- Myriam Osei

“Well I think first of all, people have the wrong misconceptions of what natural hair is….” – Myriam

I met this young beautiful lady last month at my mummy’s birthday party now as ladies we naturally started talking but it wasn’t till a couple of weeks after I found out she is a fab naturalle!! Yes! So knowing this I decided to interview for my blog and this is what she had to say….

Her name is Myriam Osei, a French born Ghanaian ( yaay just coz I am as well lol) who lives in the UK ( but sometimes runs off to France lool) and is a student. Her decision to go natural came after watching Chris Rock’s Good Hair film( and I must say I recently watched this and boy does it give you a lot of information! Oh and we both watched this film out of curiosity too lool). Now this girl is brave. She Bced!! For all of you who don’t know BC( big Chop is when you cut off all your relaxed ends to leave your natural hair underneath. She describes her transitioning journey as ‘not intention’ as she describes in her own words….

“I did not transition, well actually I did technically but not intentionally (laughs), okay, okay I will explain. So basically what happened is, one day I was watching “Good hair “featuring Chris Rock out of curiosity really, it was around midnight, something, it was late.( I had braids in actually).So as I was watching that, I got more and more interested, we got to see where certain weaves comes from, we also got to see interviews from celebs who wore weaves and were pretty confident admitting it, which made me think if they’re that confident, why are they not bold enough to show and wear their natural hair, it looked as if what black people imagined as natural hair was nappy, incredibly thick, ugly hair. But I personally did not think that. So, after watching that, I made my decision to go natural. When I took off my braids, a month after, I was still firm on being natural, but my hair it did not look natural yet, it was still a little bit relaxed. Then, I did not know what transition, big chop whatever meant, I had just made my decision of being natural and that was it, so I did not relaxed my hair, just shampooed it, and braided my hair again, 2 months after I took the braids off ,shampooed it and did another hairstyle, this one was with pick n’ drops and weave in the middle, so while I had this hairstyle I went in YouTube watching videos of people who are natural or just started being natural Etc. And that’s when I got to learn about transitioning, BC (big chop) and all these wonderful words, so a month after I took my weave/pick n’drops style out and actually realized that my hair was getting thicker, more natural now while I was touching it, which I found nice and weird at the same time, it’s as if I’ve forgotten that I hadn’t had a relaxer for five months, which made me realized that I actually transitioned technically for five months without knowing it. Basically, when I was touching the inside of my hair it was thick, felt heavy and then when I was touching the ends or seeing the ends of my hair in the mirror, it looked straight, like my hair had actually 2 different textures.

So all night I was thinking “should I cut off the relaxed perms of my hair or not??” Then I came to the conclusion, that I actually should because otherwise this thought “what could’ve been if I had actually big chopped my hair” would keep coming and plus it wasn’t as if I will get bold, because I had transitioned for five months without knowing, I thought my hair wouldn’t be very short anyway, so the next morning, I got up more exciting than ever, took the scissors and cut,cut,cut!! until I had a TWA(another word I learnt from YouTube which means tweeny weeny afro) it took me about 2 hours to cut, because when you do the Big chop by yourself, you never know if you’ve done it alright, or if the shape look even, so it’s a bit nerve-racking. But it’s worth it. I got my last relaxer in November 2010 and did the Big Chop the 10th April 2011, and how long it’s been? You lot can do the calculation yourselves hah”. ( yh so do the math for yourselves. ok incase you cant do it its been 5 months)

Hair products

Not having to relax her hair anymore meant she had to change her hair routines and hair products. The number one place she went for research on hair products? Youtube( I must admit me too!!!!) but she found Pure African Shea butter to do the trick1( I must say I have heard good reviews about this and it seems to me that in the natural world shea butter is really good! Ok. Noted). She mixes this with her usual moisturizer cream which is hazel oil and nut oil( never heard of these but noted!) her shampoo? Olive oil shampoo and leave in conditioner

Has there been a change in your hair routines? Like the number of times you wash your hair a week, how you protect your hair when you sleep? Protective styling? ( weaves, braids, ponytails)

Well, yes there are ,for example now, I braid (not tight braids) or twist my hair much more than before, before it was more weave than anything else, but now I rather like doing natural hairstyles than having weaves and things like that. I also condition, moisturize my hair more and I use a net for my hair at night..

A lot of women I have spoken to say they want to go natural but find there are hardly any products for them. Can you recommend good hair products and if possible where to get them?

I think it also depends on the texture of the hair, some products are easier to find than others depending on how the texture of the hair is in its natural state ,for me, I have an afro-like texture, so there were no point in going to the curly hair session in the shop, cos this is not how the texture of my hair is, so I think first of all that you have to really know what texture your hair is and be realistic in finding products that are good for your hair texture, there is also a lot of help you can find via the internet, YouTube videos etc.

Good hair products? I would recommend, for people who have an afro like texture, like for e.g. Lauryn Hill or Solange Knowles would be 100%Shea Butter, I mean this cream is good, and it is non-greasy, I think as a cream it works best for afro-textured hair, and it is best to mix it with a moisturizer to make it a bit smoother. You can also buy Shea butter as a shampoo, or mix it with other products, this one works for all types of natural hair texture .You can find them in your local hair shop, I’m sure, you can also buy olive oil shampoo and live-in conditioner, this is what I use and it works very well for the texture of my hair.

Would you advice any women to go natural? And why?

What I think first of all is, people have the wrong misconceptions of what natural hair is, some think that natural hair doesn’t grow, is hard to manage, nappy ,ugly all the negative. But there is not a lot of people talking about the benefits of wearing your hair natural for example, the Versatility ,when you wear your hair natural there is loads of different styles you can do like,-two-strand twists-bantu knots- -flat twist,-affro puffs Etc.

Going natural can also make your hair much healthier, whether you want it or not chemicals used after a while in your hair can damage your hair and scalp, therefore one can get a lot of breakage. And I got to say since I’ve been natural I havent had a lot of breakage at all, the amount of breakage I got in 3 months is the amount of breakage Id get in 10 days altogether with relaxed hair, no jokes. Having natural hair makes you unique and you get to be yourself, you dont have to be afraid having to pass through the rain and it also save up money hah.there is a lot of benefits being natural. But I also got to say though, that I think it is a personal choice and I also believe that as long as you DONT get a relaxer to hide your real hair texture or is ashamed of your hair texture but rather get relaxer simply cos u like how your hair looks relaxed and so on, then its okay ,but I firmly believe that everyone though, should try to at least once, not getting a relaxer for at least 3 months because this is how you would know that you are not ashamed of your real hair texture, and you would maybe get to like it- or not.

I tell you something there is a lot of people who dont know how their hair texture is until they went natural, there is a lot of girls who dont know what to expect when they go natural, I mean how their hair texture would be like and they get surprised when some see curls coming out theyre like “Oh my gosh, I never thought my natural hair would have curls in it” People shouldnt expect the worst to happen. So in overall, yeah I would advise women to go natural, I mean its wonderful, and also when you go natural, you get to notice women who are natural more in the street you are like “oh shes natural too” its as if you just want to make conversation with them, its a good feeling, it puts a smile in your face. So to sum up, yes I would advise any women to go natural but as I said it is only a personal choice.

And finally what the best piece of advice you would give to a woman who has just decided to go natural?

I’ve got 3-The three best advices I can give are :

1-Be sure that it is what you want to do and that there is no going back, and also you should not expect everybody to like it, I mean do not get into this expecting everybody to like it, because obviously they are some who are going to like and also some who would not, so you have to be sure it is what you want to do, what you like.

2-Secondly, I would also advise one who want to go natural to be confident in themselves first and not go natural to gain confidence or try to be unique,cos you are already unique in who you are, and the natural hair should just add to the uniqueness you already have.

3-.And, thirdly, embrace each part of your journey I mean enjoy every moment and do not get so caught up in wanted to see growth or get to your target length that you don’t enjoy the present of being natural, embrace each moment.

And Also, watch videos that keep inspire you you’re not alone there is a lot of women going natural too, or if you ve got friends, family that are going natural with you too, stay together and keep motivating, encouraging and enjoying this journey together, it helps.

Enjoy your Naptural Journey!

Ok folks, a young girl, blessed and ahead of her time she paves the way for other young girls( or even older like me) to take into consideration the decision to transition. She is a true inspiration to us all including the writer( me lool) and has showed me that your transitioning journey does not have to the the hard way as in sit down think about it do some serious soul searching( lool) but can come out of curiosity, be unintentional but totally love the results!!

She is fab and we are in total support of her!! #teamNatural!! Invading the UK…

For more information contact her on twitter- @AngelPeaceJoy

Thank you and Good night…xxx

everyday inspiration series- Crystal Ford ( Rochelle)

‘What does the black spectator identify with when his/her mirror image is structurally absent or present only as Other’ – Mercer, K .1996

Recommended by her cousin, Marion, to me for this series, I catch up with Rochelle aka Crystal Afro about her, her hair( of course) and stuffs.

I actually thought her name was Crystal ford lool. But clearly not. Her name is Rochelle aka Crystal Afro( and you can see why lool) and she’s 26 and a Jamaican ’with a dash of Cuban on one side (yhh blug wagan? Obviously am trying put on my Jamaican accent but I have failed so I will stick to what I know! Lool). Recently graduated community Arts Practitioner and is looking to create all sorts of arty stuffs( oooh interesting, her contact details at the end of the article).

Growing up in Balham and Wandsworth( big up she says lool) she didn’t really see a lot of women with natural hair or they may have been a few but she probably didn’t notice( lol) but looking back she can remember her Nan and aunty rocking their natural hair( good good lol). But in her primary school there was another black girl with type 3ish hair who had manageable hair( Ohhhh am sensing some envy? Back then nah I lied lool no but seriously maybe a little? Loool). Anyways in secondary school, that changed and almost everyone had relaxed hair or the next thing- weaves or braids- including her.

seeing girl wearing really bait weaves also helped me. Like when your looking at a girl on the bus and you feel bad for
them because you can see their tracks- not cool! ( why she transitioned lool)

To her, seeing other black women with natural hair encouraged her to stay natural. And the fact that she didn’t want to ‘ take the risk of any fake-ness being exposed’ ( lool I feel you on that one!!!!) her decision to transition was influenced by money( well, no comment lool), breakage, as a matter of fact it would be better to write her own words lol:

quote was by Kobena Mercer, who raised the question: What does the black spectator identify with when his/ her mirror image is structurally absent or present only as Other?”(Mercer, K. 1996)

“This question is still so important to me even now. As I did my research trying to find BlackBritish female celebrities from past decades I realized just how dangerously absent we are from the history books, and the majority of those that can be
seen are playing it straight. It was all this that made me think, “when future generation of black girls compare themselves to the black girls of our generation I want them to see how naturally beautiful their ancestors are/were. Idont want them to think they need to have straight or fake hair to be beautiful.”

Did you feel that making that decision was hard for you especially when most of the women around you had silky straight hair?

There were definitely difficult times in the early days. It’s easy to be confident about about natural hair when your in the comfort of your own home but when you’re confronted with the real world and the various social pressures it can be a lot more challenging to stay strong. Sometimes you feel like you stand out for all the wrong reasons. But I guess its important to remember that just because you’re pursuing not the same type of beauty that’s being dictated to us, it doesn’t mean that you’re not equally as beautiful.Although the first couple of weeks were difficult, if I hadn’t gone through that difficult stage I wouldn’t have learn the things I needed to know to be happy with my hair as I am now.

Hair products? Yep, yea, yes! Most definitely! Lol. A very excited Crystal I mean Rochelle.

She had to get rid of most of her hair products( like that is a problem when you’re shopping for new ones lool) as she found out they leave too much residue. But the products she has come to love? Kinky Curly knot today( I actually love the name of this, did u get the pun, knot today? No? well lets just carry on) she cant tell me how much she loves this product! Lol. But unfortunately its only sold online( links to the website at the end). She’s also loving oils- coconut oil( again), almond oil( new to me) and castor oil.. Also loving vegetable glycerine too.

Has there been a change in your hair routines? Like the number of times you wash your hair a week, how you protect your hair when you sleep? Protective styling?( weaves, braids, ponytails)

It’s all about trial and error, and when I looked back at my blog posts I realized that you’ll usually see a few tweeks in my routine as I try to find what my hair likes. Im experimenting with various deep conditioners like Keracare and Aubery Organics. My protective styles change every few weeks or so, as I learn more convenient and quick ways to style my hair. Iv changed how often I wash my hair from practically never (when I wore weaves) to 3 times a week when I first went natural to once a week and at the moment usually twice a week. I also change the times I spritz my hair. Im trying to figure out if it prefers a spritz in
the morning or the evening, but I’ve learned twice a day can be a bit much for my hair depending on what I’ve got in my spritz. Oh yea and now I try to do a co-wash once a week.