It’s true
Just mentions of the places we have been to together triggers emotions
I wonder how it’s been so long and I am still locked in place like a lock and key model from science at GCSE
It’s that time of the night
Where whispers of my past interrupt with my thoughts for the future
3am knows all my secrets. My pressure points and weaknesses
struggling to see by my laptop light as i write these tears in my journal.
It’s the usual
how and why did I cause myself so much pain?
4am
Dig deeper.
Forget how useful the branches look and get to the root.
He was my sin, a pain I once loved and held on too dearly
Difficult to swallow- take responsibility for your part
His interlude
2.45am
Did I love her?
Or was she just accessible and readily available
Was it love?
Or a mere like because I was fascinated by her
A high school crush like feeling been experience now that I am in university
She was different from the rest
And I was draw to that not really understanding it or stopping to think if I could handle it
4.30am her
Sarah it’s time to lay to rest
Yh it was real nice
But the devil wears Prada
And boy did it look good
Got you thinking don’t it
You aint no victim
Release the pain and let healing flow
Rest will come if you sit by still waters
He’s waiting. Go on up
Christ compels you.
Last year I learnt about heartbreak that left me gasping for the very air I breathe
Taking me higher and leaving me breathless whilst still tryna perform CPR on me
And in this year I found love
And loves shaped as a cross
And it’s coloured red
And I can’t believe I was standing in his presence asking for love but accepting a cheap imitation of it elsewhere
sarah fynn 
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