GOD – sarah fynn

It’s time to take a much needed break from hair updates and go back to some poetry. This is from one heart to another

I have a soul

I am a spirit in this physical casing supposed to see me through this journey. I am His creation, His daughter, the physical embodiment of His vision and purpose.

With every curve I was turned, pruned, trimmed until He was pleased. He called me His beloved and I became His

Enveloped in His presence, surrounded by His love

Until whispers of sweeting nothings enticed the flesh I had. It became so full of nothing that when it finally emptied itself it was still yearning for more.

How?

Why?

The black lace that covered the fire made it look enticing. I could not keep my hands off it. My eyes could not get its fill. Awake at night in the heat of the moment, sweat beads formed as my pores opened for release

Yet still wanting more

And I sighed, affirmingly

Back arched as I fought against her to take him. This is what you wanted right.

Sinking into depths when he exhaled. Tears poured out. Was it love? Was it the deep darkness that pierced my eyes? And suddenly the lace is removed and the fire seems to burn now.

It hurts. Lord. Please.

And so it’s over. As quickly as it began. And I’m left curled in the foetal position begging for a Saviour forgetting He is close by. As fresh tears fall I begin to feel His presence, more tears and He’s touching me

The heart that was burned is beginning to heal, in that split second gravity let’s go of me and I arise. Soar into His arms once again. Cushioned by His Love

Again.

Months later

It was just a song that reminded me of us. Just the beat of the drums evoke memories of the fire we started. I find myself craving you again. Wondering if I could have you one last time.

I catch myself.

I am His daughter. How can I crave fire? Was I not healed? Am I not healed?

Yes

I am His daughter. And I can push harder and fight. I am reminded in that same moment to pursue heavenly thoughts and not return to the darkness from which I fought so hard to come from.

Sarah this is for you. This is for us, the broken ones. The ones that were burnt by the very flame we fanned. The ones whom dysfunction were our new normal.

Because God loves you. Because He never left you. Because if you could really and truly fall into His arms He would show you His heart. Because after wondering all over and loving everything you see, you were too afraid of loving your scars, you denied His beauty for you. And when He called you beautiful and touched you intimately, you could not recognise how amazing that moment truly was because you didn’t even know what had happened.

You are special. If only you could believe me when I tell you, I look down upon you in heaven and I am pleased with you. You needed to hear that.

I am pleased with you

I AM PLEASED WITH YOU

Become the girl you dream off, do not put her aside any longer because you feel you are not ready. Be her in the midst of the frustration, confusion, anger and hurt. She was made for those times. The fire has burnt you enough, it’s time for her to soar. Oh let me do my work! Do not let another die before I can get your attention again.

Sarah let love flow in you. That unfamiliar feeling with all its vulnerabilities. Do it right because you are my daughter. I will replenish you if that’s what you are wondering. Let potential be kinetic and move forth!

This is for anyone that is hurting or has been hurt by broken relationships. God sees your tears and feels your pain. The breakthrough is coming! It’s almost morning!

Be encouraged. This pain is so necessary to take you to the next level and after you have been through share whilst others are going through

A new day is coming

From one heart to another

Love

Sarah

The whole truth- Da. Truth

And since I decided to be open with you, to bare all and leave my soul clinging to yours. When my pride was high and the sun shining in that glorious bluish sky, I looked at you and at the surface saw joy, I saw your hands turn red from the heat of the sun whilst mine just remained brown as they are

Even then, whilst open, apparently I overlooked myself. So let’s cut deeper, go deeper into the issues that ensued now that the sun is no longer shinning and now that your joy is hatred. Yes

This is the whole truth.

Let’s sit and face the person in the mirror though it’s the most uncomfortable and unbearable topics to broach. Like this child holding a bear. Let me not start on the emotions it evoked inside of me. End results in a stream of tears I cannot control. Can you imagine giving up something you thought you depended on without the assurance of getting another? And you imagine the audacity muster in order to hit delete on my phone. You don’t know what happened. Really cut deep into me.

It was just a picture I saw. I picture I briefly skimmed over but it’s enough for the attachment to memories I have of your favourite team and you. Because I was there. Better still we were there together. Cheering because number 14 had just come on.

Was I blinded? I mean I know I should use my glasses more but was I blind? Did I loss complete function of my pupils? How was light been let through but I could not see your shadows?

I am tasked with forgiveness. Of self. I think that’s a topic to be breached later.

‘He gives us power to believe we are in control’

Have you seen a bunch of crabs in a bucket? How selfish they are in bringing each other down. No one makes it. Selfish desires lead to bleeding hearts that the Cross can only bind. This is for me. Us. To ones that still cry, maybe not on the bathroom floor but even with smiles all around hearts bled, as my pen scribbles across my page in my cancer biology class.

But You made it so. So that before I fell my pride fell long and hard. You gave me exactly what I thought I needed and wanted only to snatch it away as quickly as you gave it to show how much I really didn’t need it.

The irony!

It takes death to appreciate life. Takes sorrow to experience joy. Takes heartbreak to know what love is

And here is the truth: no matter how much a big of a deal I made it and make it now there was no love gained. Nada

No even walks on Cadiz’s great beaches because that never happened anyway.

I become myself in the midst of this. Letting it refine me in ways I never knew. It’s been a long time without your presence and how could I have thought, I could do this without you. Father? You let me fall so I could rise to a higher level. And whilst soul is purging, draw me closer until it’s healed. Forgiveness because I am forgiven. And I let go of my bear in order for hands to be empty to receive from you.

And he says pray more and worry less. And new words been spoken to me will have effects at a later stage. He says with time I can show you what real love is supposed to be.

It wasn’t all them. I had my part to play to and I accept my responsibility in the part I had to play in order to break my heart. Still these words are over me

‘I am not consumed because of your great love’

Lamentations 3.22

Tag: GOD

ONE HEART

THE WHOLE TRUTH